Happily ever after. Every Disney movie seems to end that way, but especially if it’s a Princess movie! Of course, we don’t live in that kind of a world, do we?
Celebrities are constantly being maligned. Their lives are reported on and distorted beyond recognition. Sometimes it’s unbelievable the headlines we see!
So I wondered: What kind of headlines would the Disney Princesses make in today’s tabloids?
Well, let’s have a look…
Snow White
Teenage Girl Arrested for Polygamy With Seven Men
Aurora
Parents of Comatose Girl Decide to Remove Life Support
Cinderella
Lonely Woman’s Strange Hobby: Sewing Clothes for Mice
Ariel
Girl Found on Beach Half-naked, Fined, Defendant Speechless
Jasmine
Royalty Involved in Peasant Scandal, Loses Crown
Belle
Woman Turns Down He-man, Marries Man-Beast
Pocahontas
Young Lady Committed, Claims Tree is Grandmother, Talks to Raccoon
Mulan
Girl Charged With Tom-peepery, Found by Men’s Bathing Pool
Tiana
Family Disowns Daughter for Alternative Lifestyle After Kissing Frog
Rapunzel
Girl Arrested After Striking Man With Frying Pan, Claims Self Defense
Merida
Scottish Lass Turns Mother, Brothers into Bears (you can’t make this stuff up!)
Anna and Elsa
Ice Queens Put the Freeze on Mankind. Wait… what?
Bonus Princess: Alice
Little Girl Talks to Pet Rabbit, Eats Strange Mushroom, Parents Appauled
So I guess it’s for the best that these stories take place far, far away in a time long, long ago, and not in our modern world!
